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Joke of the Day

"Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete? It's mistaken for granite."

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"OF COURSE IT'S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN! Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of colour."

"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."

"If you thought black people were mad about the Oscars... wait until the nominations come out for the World's Greatest Dad Award."

"Apparently the majority of The United Arab Emirates don't allow The Flintstones to be shown... However Abu Dhabi do."

"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? He couldn't find the droid he was looking for."

"When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say ""Is that who you were telling me about?"""

"""Hello, 912"" wait did u say 912? ""yup"" I meant to dial 911 ""happens all the time"" lol I'm such a goof ""haha right?"" my neighbor got stabbed"

"Shout out to old guy behind counter who started coughing really hard, drank some water, recovered, chuckled, and said ""Not today!"""