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Joke of the Day

"Ughh...7 more hours till I can go home. Oh, sorry, my Canadian friends...7 more Kilometers till I can go home. Or is it liters?"

"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me... It means a lot."

"My mute grandfather always said:"

"I peaked too soon in high school. I'm still sending her child support."

"I'll push a loaded grocery cart around for 45 minutes -- but I WILL NOT spend 5 seconds pushing an empty one back to the return area!"

"Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly."

"What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia? Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes"

"Would you like to hear a joke? The republican primary debate."

"Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car."

"What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House?? Put Monica Lewinsky in there. She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now."