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Joke of the Day

"I saw the strangest thing ever today. I threw a sausage off the pier and some blind man jumped in after it, then when he reappeared out of the water, he had transformed into a Labrador."

"Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks."

"An 8 year old and his uncle walk deep into the woods... The 8 year old turns to his uncle and says ""I'm scared."" The uncle responds "" you think your scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet"

"""What about this? What about this? And this?""--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer."

"This morning I woke up confused and in the dark. Then it dawned on me."

"Did you hear about the stupid photographer? He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom."

"Fun prank: Tell an English major how ""impactful"" something is."

"If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist"

"What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"""