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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day."

"If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix"

"What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess"

"I just bought a very tiny amphibian for a pet. It's my-newt!"

"The treadmill is the only product we have that the 'The Jetsons' had, I'm very disappointed at how far behind be are."

"I do NOT trust my bowels... I just think they're full of shit _"

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So that no one find out he fucks chickens."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"What medication that can make people inspire you? Aspirin sorry guys"

"My uncle died after falling out of a helicopter.. ..so at his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a parachute. Well, it's what he would have wanted."