70277

Joke of the Day

"Funny shit 52% of all women have used vibrators , the other 48% have new ones ."

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"Thoughts on my new mustache. It's growing on me."

"Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans take their wives to the football games? 'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Strong and Bitter"

"What does the Saudi Paralympics team consist of? thieves.."

"How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food."

"Jesus at the Last Supper. Jesus: *breaks bread* - This is my body! *holds a glass of wine* - This is my blood. *starts to open a jar of mayo* Judas: Sorry Jesus, I will have to stop you there."

"My editor told me I need to be more pithy, so I booked an appointment with a urologist."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat it until she starts again."