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Joke of the Day
"I'm a heavy sleeper... Also, a heavy awaker... Okay, I'm fat."
Next Joke
"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."
"Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst"
"What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids."
"the older i get, the more understandable britney's meltdown seems to me"
"[blind date gets in car] Okay, I wanna have dinner early so we can go to Petco & watch 'em feed the snakes. Unless you wanna do Petco first."
"Whats the difference between My computer and Paul Walker? I give a Fuck when my computer crashes"
"Hillary: After Benghazi Hearing I ""Sat Around Eating Indian Food And Drinking Wine And Beer"" Christie: ""Just another Tuesday morning for me."""
"Adroit python swallowed male and female rabbits and doesn't need a food anymore."
"A cow once saved my life. I guess you could call it Bovine Intervention."