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Joke of the Day

"Why is Saturn like your balls?? Because it is in between jupeter an your anus."

"A Mormon president would face the most difficult issue any president has. Deciding who's the First Lady, who's the Second Lady, and who's the Third Lady."

"Don't make a scientist mad. They will research you."

"For the first time ever I find Hillary relatable. I'm not president either."

"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."

"If anyone's hungry there's a cottage cheese sandwich in my sink I'm probably not going to eat"

"Ever turn the radio right to your favorite song as it's beginning? It almost makes up for the fact that everyone you love will die sometime."

"How many cats can you fit in a smart car? None, you can't get any pussy in a smart car."

"*sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*"

"What is a vampires favorite drink? ."