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Joke of the Day
"Men are like frogs, the most important thing is to jump on faster."
Next Joke
"Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them..."
"The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius."
"Help oh god a I tied a balloon to my hand and now I'm two hours over the ocean held hostage by the wind"
"I have a great knock-knock joke But someone else has to start. Go"
"I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts. Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said."
"What do you call an intelligent prostitute? A fucking genius!"
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS"
"""Pardon me. Might I murder you with my musket? Yes? Excellent news, kind sir!"" - The Very Civil War"
"""Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?"" asked Rupert. ""Okay"" replied his father ""but don't stand too close."""