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Joke of the Day

"I used to buy second hand ballet equipment from ebay I still do but I used tutu."

"I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking ""What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"""

"A tearful Ray Romano raises the gun to his temple. 'not everybody' he whispers 'not everybody'"

"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"

"Nice Girls are found in every corner of the world... ...unfortunately, the world is round."

"""My balls have amazing cleavage in the right lighting"" is a failed pickup line that has never worked."

"Why did God kick Joe Paterno out of Heaven? ....because he picked Michael Jackson as his new assistant coach."

"Did you guys hear they're making a sequel to the hit TV show ""Medium?"" It's called ""Large."""

"A bird in the hand is never as fun as a hand in the bush."

"I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote ""dentists are liars"" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that."