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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants? E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home."

"Dear lady, $14 is crazy for an airport sandwich but complaining to the counter guy is like telling a cop to pull troops out of Afghanistan."

"I'm surprised the sloths made it to the ark in time."

"What did the stupid ghost do? He used to climb over walls."

"Beeped my horn at this cute guy who walked by. He shot me a dirty look. He's playing hard to get, but I've started planning the wedding!"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom"

"What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold? Coffin medicine."

"Terrorist Pick-Up Line ""Hey girl, is your ass America? Because I want to destroy it."""

"Toast I'd like to propose a toast, but I'm all out of bread."

"Africans would remember this Ebola"