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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom"

"Bernie Sanders fans say ""Feel the Bern."" Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson."

"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."

"I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I'll be when I wake up tomorrow."

"In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a ""cronut,"" which is croissant/donut. We call these people ""midiots,"" which is a moron/idiot."

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence *edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*"

"Hey, old people! Less driving, more dying. Thanks!"

"One windmill asked another what kind of music it likes The other windmill responded ""I'm a big metal fan"""

"A guy who won free buffets for life committed suicide the other day I guess he had a lot on his plate."

"Is a lightsaber's blade hot or cold? Neither. Its warm. *picks up lightsaber *warm warm warm*"