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Joke of the Day

"Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive"

"If you think sex is just filling her hole Then you're a civil engineer, not a lover"

"People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible."

"By 98 to 1, U.S. Senate passes amendment saying climate change is real, not a hoax."

"Me: Have you ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? You: Um.. no Me: Thats because it hasn't come out yet!! lelelelelelelelelelelelololol"

"I can still party like I'm 22. Too bad I recover like I'm 82."

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."

"Walk up in the club like ""THIS IS MY JAM"" handing out small jars of my homemade raspberry preserves"

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time."

"Why was the Butcher depressed? Because his life was in shambles."