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Joke of the Day

"Bro do you even-- Bro I do. *eyes begin to tear up* *fist bumping until the sun rises*"

"How do you turn a duck in to a soul singer? Put in the oven till it's Bill Withers."

"WOMEN Woo men."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pee soup."

"What do you call a terrorist video store? Blockbuster"

"I slipped and fell outside today... and when I got up, my wallet and keys were missing. Must've been black ice."

"Have you heard about the new store coming to the mall? It's a pretty *hot topic*."

"The Lord said unto John; ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster."

"How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before? He has claw marks on his forehead."

"I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*"