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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, somebody gets stabbed in London every 52 minutes. Poor bastard."

"What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa? A good start."

"cashier at the book store told me to ""take it easy"" so I stabbed her in the neck with my keys because nobody tells me how to live my life."

"Why does a giraffe need such a long neck? Because its head is so far away from its body."

"Remember when you used to blow bubbles while you chewed gum? He was here about a half an hour ago looking for you."

"I just invented a word ""Plagiarism"""

"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."

"I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it."

"Why didn't the life guard save the hippy? He was too far out man."

"ww2 Russia be like... You better Czech yourself before you rek yourself."