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Joke of the Day

"Remember when you used to blow bubbles while you chewed gum? He was here about a half an hour ago looking for you."

"Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on viagra? His wife died."

"Inspecting mirrors is a job I can see myself doing it."

"When I see a car with a Romney bumper sticker driving near a car with an Obama sticker I want them to turn into transformers & battle"

"*walks into the hottest restaurant w/out a reservation* We're fully booked ""Ahem, I'm Yelp reviewer TURDBONER69"" Sorry sir right this way"

"Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago He's never looked back"

"One of my terrorist friends decided to bomb our only good coffee machine in all of Yemen... Pissed as hell, he said he hates french press"

"A nurse takes out a rectal thermometer from her shirt pocket And thinks, Some asshole has got my pen."

"There was a groping incident at work. I apologized but they fired me anyways."

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? They cantelope."