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Joke of the Day
"Why did the calendar give up on life? Because he felt his days were numbered."
Next Joke
"[picks up date] *slides over hood of car* *slides off car onto another car* *slides off that one onto another car* *date looks at her watch*"
"unicorns are really just weaponized ponies."
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says ""Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there!"""
"Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No"
"Maglev train hits 310mph in Japan. Critics say it has barely left the ground."
"A woman could tweet ""My dog just died"" and she would get replies like ""Well, I'm not dead ;)"""
"I feel bad for Kim-Jong Un It's hard being the fat kid in high school, so it must be really difficult being the only fat kid in the country."
"A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!"
"What did the person say when a flood struck his house? Damn it!"