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Joke of the Day

"the first rule of OCD club is that there must be a second rule so we have an even number of rules"

"What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"We should start calling policemen Diamonds. [x-post /r/Showerthoughts] Diamonds Clubbing Spades."

"Did you hear about the married Amish woman having an affair? She loved two Mennonite."

"I'm not into Russian dolls anymore. They are so fucking full of themselves."

"Did anyone lose a roll of twenties wrapped in a rubberband? I found the rubberband!"

"I have been struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide but my friends have been very supportive... they insist that I go through with it."

"5-year-old: I'll stop asking you to take our family to Disneyland Me: You finally understand we can't afford it 5: You should just send me"

"Cheesy Joke If you're gonna make a cheesy joke, Cheddar make it Gouda."

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."