69119

Joke of the Day

"Question: If a King runs a Kingdom...& an Emperor runs an Empire... Who runs a country?"

"You know why cops aren't on the streets of NYC right now? Because when it's white, they leave it the fuck alone"

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."

"A sadist joke I thought-up today at 2:20PM Q: Where do happy sadists come from? A: A Sadist-factory! get it? get it?"

"If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don't know your arithmetic. You don't know my father !"

"I put the ____ in a much larger segment of _____________________."

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"

"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents..."

"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"

"What's the definition of a surprise? A fart with a lump in it"