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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any Jewish gangsters? Because they don't ""come from the hood"""

"9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9."

"What do you call redditors when they get STDs The HIVmind"

"Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? No? Well that's because it never came out"

"I've been feeling so shitty this valentines day.. This cold I have is terrible!"

"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"

"Three variations of ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" http://puu.sh/aTYoy/2e4a5f69b8.png"

"Did you know your kitchen faucet might raid your house? Let that sink in..."

"What did the underweight onion say to the garlic? No more light bulb jokes!"

"I want to start a subreddit to help people with Erectile Dysfunction... ..but I'm having trouble getting it up. ^*cringe*"