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Joke of the Day

"As a mark of respect to Lou Reed I have had his initials inscribed on my headphones. -Daft Limmy"

"I must have a nice butt, because, everytime I'm walking away from talking to someone they say ""What an ass?"""

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"Overheard: ""Hey, I think that weirdo is listening to our conversation."""

"Why did the cannibal stab the chef with a toothpick? To see if he was done cooking."

"I'm glad I found out it's illegal to destroy US currency. I was about to feed $50 bills through a shredder."

"You can reuse a condom... you just need to shake the fuck out of it."

"A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG."

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture."

"Guys, you CAN catch AIDS from a toilet seat! If you sit down before the other guy gets up."