68958

Joke of the Day

"Push up bras A push-up bra is like a bag of chips. You open it up and its half empty."

"In Theory... In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they never are."

"Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings."

"What is the best stand-up routine of our time? I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared."

"Trump's Secret Service is going to have a problem If someone shoots at him, they will yell ""Donald Duck, Donald Duck"""

"If you're a Sanders supporter at a Trump rally, what protocols do you need to follow? The Protocols of Zion, apparently."

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"Do you guys like corny jokes? Because I have some absolutely a-maize-ing ones!"

"After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her..."

"TWA airlines flight Hostess asks ""TWA coffe sir?"" ""I prefer T thanks!"""