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Joke of the Day

"My wife is a vegan. I'm not. I don't care if she makes more money than me. I can still say that I'm the one who brings home the bacon."

"What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance? A Fairodactyl"

"Spice up your Facebook timeline when someone's status turns to ""It's complicated"" by posting ""thanks for last night"" underneath it."

"Where does an octopus go to buy shoes? Inke"

"Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window."

"A 'Jim's Dozen' is 11, because I take one for myself."

"Have you heard of the Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women."

"You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears"

"I just drank another bottle of brake fluid. My friends think I'm addicted, but I can stop when I want to."

"To think, millions of children go to bed every night without knowing what their Sleep Number is."