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Joke of the Day

"I just drank another bottle of brake fluid. My friends think I'm addicted, but I can stop when I want to."

"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A mega-sore-ass."

"My wife: Are you ever going to stop quoting ""Gangstas Paradise""? Me: The way things are going I don't know"

"""Give it here!"" ""No, it's mine!"" ""it's my turn!"" ""you had it last!"" ""come on gimme it!"" ""no way!"" ""but it's my go!"" Siamese twins having a wank."

"Hear of the shortest suicide note ever? Life sucks, girlfriend doesn't."

"Everyone's talking about how the story with Ahmed and the clock has really blown up... ... but isn't the whole point of the story that the clock never blew up?"

"Did you hear about the french TV show Did you hear about the french TV chat show that only airs on a thursday? Richard and Jeudi"

"How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears."