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Joke of the Day

"What's the name of that movie with that actor in which the guy does that thing with that other thing in that place during that time?"

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"i finally checked out chatroulette. i saw three fornicators, two masturbaters, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Why do Black people prefer big asses? Because they have a bigger machine to ride ( )"

"""I don't want no scrubs"" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes"

"Q: How is a penis like fishing? A: The small ones you throw back the medium ones you eat and the larger ones you mount."

"A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar The bartender asks what they're having. The witch replies ""Narnia business."""

"Of course this is my real personality. Who the hell would fake THIS?"

"Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything."