68742

Joke of the Day

"This one time I swallowed a piece of string. When it came out it was all tied up. I shit you knot."

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"No. I'm not pregnant. That's my liver."

"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."

"A baby seal walked into a club ..."

"How do you know when your wife is having an orgasm? when you come home from work and see my car in your driveway....."

"Why did Waldo wear stripes? [I wouldn't know. Ask these guys.](http://imgur.com/yTGbPI0)"

"I prefer F-1 over Nascar.... ...does that make me racist? -&y"

"When people say ""To be honest..."", it means that up to that point they've been lying."

"How can you tell if someone does crossfit? Don't worry, they'll tell you."