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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Throw your laundry in with them."

"My grandfather suffers from dimensia... he doesn't ever seem to know at what point he exists in time or space."

"Mommy! The boys at school pay me to climb trees! ""Honey, they only want you to do that so they can see your panties!"" Yeah, I know, that's why I take them off."

"Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ? It lives on ice !"

"Leading causes of cancer: 1. Smoking 2. Aging 3. Radiation 4. Diet 5. WebMD"

"I often say...... I often say to myself. ""I cant believe that cloning machine worked"""

"Dad can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"

"Satan: Welcome to hell! You can spend all eternity walking barefoot across legos OR you can wear these crocs. Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind? Fa Ting"

"Why cant some one stay straight while playing hide n seek in IKEA?... ...cuz they'll have to come out of the closet at some point."