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Joke of the Day

"So Stub Hub isn't a dating site for quadriplegics?"

"That escalated quickly - Me to 4 unamused strangers on the Mall escalator."

"On Halloween I like to go to the store and buy apples and razorblades just to see the look on the clerk's face."

"Did you hear about the farmer who tried to be a stand up comedian? His jokes weren't dairy funny."

"Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn't that funny anyway."

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? You go on ahead while i give these two a lift."

"[JOB INTERVIEW] {Don't let them know you're a tectonic plate} ""What would you say is your biggest fault?"" San Andreas?"

"Why did the fatty cross the road? Because the free pizza wouldn't"

"I heard you like Wendy's?.... When DEEZ nuts in your mouth!"

"Body Glitter: For the girl who wants to leave a sparkling trail of daddy issues everywhere she goes"