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Joke of the Day

"Any funny student council election catchphrases for posters? I made jokes for last years sophomore election but can not think of any for this year. Any help redditors?"

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"Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage."
"The best way to avoid awkward moments with homeless people is to ask them for money before they ask you."
"What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach? Tan lines."
"(Commercial for noses) *puts bump of cocaine up butt, turns to camera* ""If only there was a better way"""
"My girlfriend told me she loses Mortal Kombat matches on purpose. She said it's the only time I finish her."
"Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... ""I made coffee"""
"Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."
"Whats The Diffrence Between A Fridge And A Child The fridge Doesnt Care If You Stick You're Meat In It"
"What does a Math Professor do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."
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