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Joke of the Day

"Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a pub."

"A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No it's velvet !'"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"

"I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth."

"How do you fix a Jack O Latern? With a pumpkin patch!"

"Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"I like my slave like I like my frees Coffee."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening..."