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Joke of the Day

"I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts."

"Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A: A LOCOmotive."

"An Olympic gymnast walked into a bar... She didnt get a medal..."

"Why wasn't Kanye allowed to have a prostitute at his bachelor party? Because you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding"

"WHAT IS THE BEST POSITION TO HAVE UGLY BABIES? I DON'T KNOW. ASK YOUR MOM."

"Bob: Who is that? Me:That's Ted, he's the opposite of a hypochondriac.. Ted's arm falls off Ted: Hey guys! Bob: Holy shit! Ted: What, I'm ok"

"When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it."

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike... My dad was holding me from behind"

"knock knock... ""knock,knock"" ""who is there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" (you slap a person across the face)""we ask the questions around here"""

"Don't dress like a hoe and expect a guy to approach you like a princess."