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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A: A LOCOmotive."

"What do you call a Spanish woman with a loose vagina? Consuelo!"

"Happier than a witch in a broom shop."

"NRA member: I've got guns. I'm in charge. Me: That's nice. I've got bubonic plague - ""cough, cough"" - now you do, too. I win."

"Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can't help thinking...I'll never have abs like that."

"How did you get your girlfriend to have sex with you while she was on her period? Let's just say I pulled some strings."

"Hey do you know Deanda? Deanda dis dick!!! HA! Got EEEM!"

"Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, Awesome, now we're both barking"

"What do you call it when you poop and masturbate at the same time? Two turds with one bone"