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Joke of the Day

"Fidel Castro's Favorite Pickup Line Girl, I'm no Kennedy or Khrushchev, but I can show you a Cuban Missile Crisis"

"Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!"

"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."

"For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis."

"Why did the baker... Why did the baker have dirty hands? Because he kneaded a poo.... HAHAHAHA"

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

"Hey, man. You used no capital letters and only one exclamation point to wish me happy birthday on Facebook. Is everything okay at home?"

"**SEX.** SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX. Now that you have my attention, go do the dishes for me."

"How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?"

"A Newfie, a Quebecois, and a Native walk into a bar in Calgary. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out!"""