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Joke of the Day

"So, today I woke up and asked my UK counterpart... ""Did you have eggs and bacon with your Brexit this morning?"""

"Coldplay have been arrested. They played ""Clocks""."

"I told my grandmother to act her age.... then she died."

"What do you call a king with a weed addiction? Your royal highness."

"Q. ""Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?"" A. ""One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."""

"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."

"8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom."

"Q- How many billionaires does it take to make Batman A- Three. Two to die and one to never get over it. I heard this in the game Arkham Knight"

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"

"How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet."