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Joke of the Day

"Being a DJ is tough because sometimes iTunes won't open."

"Us New Yorkers try to stick to the four main food groups; pizza, pizza bagels, pizza pies, and cheesecake."

"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!"

"I keep a picture of a dragon fighting a helicopter in my wallet, in case the police ask to see my license for awesome."

"What do you call a poodle that serves coffee? A Bark-ista! I said a bark-ista Coral."

"I had a balloon with the reddit logo on it and I put it on the nozzle of a can of helium. It blew up pretty fast."

"Damn girl, are you Jamaican? 'Cause Jamaican me crazy!"

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"