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Joke of the Day

"If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?"

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's most likely shit."

"Amazon Review: A History of Criminals Not a bad book. Prose and cons."

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the other side."

"*sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok."

"An archeologist found a tampon. He wondered what period it was from. (Not my joke! Credit to Shane Koyczan's poet friend)"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The people in the world trade center, these mother fuckers blew threw a hundred stories in two seconds!"

"You say ""bed."" I say ""horizontal worry pod of nocturnal overanalysis."" Let's not get caught up in semantics."

"ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter"

"The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio."