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Joke of the Day

"Where do I see myself in ten years? I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*"

"""Long story short"" makes your story three words longer."

"What do you say when the inventor of the telephone falls over? Alexander Graham Fell!"

"How do you make Helen Keller cry? Turn the stool upside-down"

"Why did Jesus get pulled over for drunk driving? He had a blood alcohol content of 12.00%. It's made of wine, after all."

"Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit."

"I have bad knees. It runs in my family. Now nobody in my family runs."

"What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window."

"What is the difference between the abominable snowman and the abominable snowwoman ? Two abominable snowballs"

"""I've an appointment with Dr Patel."" ""Dr Patel is off sick today so-"" [slowly backs away & whispers] ""U people can't even help yourselves."""