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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are sitting in a oven... One muffin says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"""

"C-3PO Papa, when C-3PO is naked, he is see-through PO (My 5 1/2 y/o just came up with this. I think it's funny, for a 5 y/o :-))"

"Bill cosby is like life They both end up fucking you"

"My friend had a failed suicide. I told him not to hang his head about it."

"Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo? A cub reporter."

"I wouldn't call it 'passive aggressive', but I do send the glitter Christmas cards to the people who annoy me."

"The non-Spanish version of Ambien is called Amgood."

"I tripped over a bra today I think it was booby trapped"

"[At make-up counter] But does this lipstick come off of a taint?"

"I'm not saying I hate you but if you were on fire I'd bring sticks and marshmallows."