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Joke of the Day

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? Three, or four?"

"The EU have finally come up with a new currency It's Greece proof."

"What does suicide and marriage have in common? (This one needs work...) Permanent solution to temporary problem."

"I got arrested for following my dream. The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him."

"the worst part of senior prom was definitely dropping my date and my grandfather's ashes going EVERYWHERE"

"Adult me: I wish I was a kid again. Kid me: I wish I was a dinosaur! RaWr!"

"My wise grandfather once told me, ""The small things in life are often the most beautiful."" Guess that explains my midget fetish."

"I can't believe my girlfriend just called me old fashioned And with her ankles showing, the slut"

"Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price with a quantity discount. That seems like a more sustainable business model."