68078

Joke of the Day

"I just found a six pack in my room. Case closed"

"My parents always warned me about having sex before marriage... But somehow I'm in their wedding picture."

"You know who I really hate? People less open minded than me."

"My son on the morning of his prom: ""Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."""

"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"

"Me: I'm into fitness Trainer: not again M: fitness whole pizza in my mouth T: you should go M: this isn't going to ""workout"" T: LEAVE NOW"

"pleas tune into my next podcast where i ask what the FUCK angry birds is and viciously mock the first piece of shit caller to answer me"

"I bumped into my rival jousting opponent. We exchanged lances."

"Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?"

"How many Nice Guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just complement the bulb and get pissed that it won't screw"