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Joke of the Day

"What do you get a man who has everything? A good urologist."

"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."

"I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: ""NOT TODAY!"""

"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"An Indian news anchor was fired for referring the chinese President Xi Jinping as ""Eleven"" Jinping."

"What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch."

"My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat."

"BASEBALL! All the excitement of football squeezed conveniently into 162 five-hour games!"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your cock into a girls mouth"