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Joke of the Day

"Dang girl, I want to treat you like my big toe... ...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house. (sorry if its been submitted before)"

"The Russian Army Q: Ho you Hld you -47 when running aay fro nuclea blast? A: On far stretched out hands coad, so the hot , fro the gun does not dip on s oned shoes!"

"Why are Americans so bad at chess? They already lost two towers."

"What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend. "

"I am a master of tearable puns But only on paper"

"What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel? Dismay."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly a dick in your mouth."

"What does a mexican magician make for breakfast? Toast-tah-dahs!"

"The letter Q is an O smoking a cig and is therefore extremely cool"

"What made the insomniac so boring? He just wasn't into resting."