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Joke of the Day
"I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crimes"
Next Joke
"A scientific study recently discovered that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy They're Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Doc"
"I buy a lot of ringtones for someone who hasn't answered a phone call since 2008."
"My friend sure changed when she became a vegetarian... (fixed) I mean, she never actually told me she was a vegetarian. But they say you are what you eat. And now she's a vegetable."
"If someone tries to assassinate Trump what will the secret service shout? ""Donald, duck"""
"*Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were ""a waste of money"" & ""clearly meant for a large child"" now?!"
"Just texted ""I love you"" to about 40 phone numbers I made up."
"How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do? All of them."
"[At the coroners' to identify a body] Me: ""Yep. That's a body all right."""
"My Sister recently started dating a depressed German airline pilot She says his personality is really down to earth."