196636

Joke of the Day

"The plumber came to fix the toilet & said, ""Where is the water main?"" so I turned on the tap & said, ""Right here, main."""

"If Hilary and Trump were to be stranded on an island, who would survive? America."

"A rapist, a pedophile and a priest walks into a bar."

"I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke... But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp."

"Silence is golden! Unless you have a toddler, then silence is very, very suspicious."

"When pearl jam comes on and you're like... It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"

"No one gave an f about his chicken when he was Lieutenant Sanders"

"*decides to workout* *lays on ground to do sit-up* *find skittle on ground* *eats it* *takes nap*"

"Truth or dare? -Truth. Ok, go. -I get sexually aroused by ALF. Okaaaay... -Your turn. Truth or dare? Um...dare. -Put on this ALF costume."

"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."