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Joke of the Day

"When a coworker says ""This is all Greek to me"", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis."

"what do a nun and a public defender have in common? neither one can get you off"

"hey, so much for global warming -- look at all this snow! and so much for global globalness, look how flat it is out there!"

"What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot."

"Who lost the American Presidential Debate? America."

"""I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"" -Me, every time I drink"

"If my girl didn't want me to wear her new Christmas thong, she shouldn't have said she bought it ""for me."" Women are confusing."

"Almost done with my peanut butter & jelly sandwich and I now notice the bread is covered in mold, If you need me I'll be bathing in bleach."

"Tom Brady is a clever mastermind He learned from another great American hero named Tom and convinced Bill Belichick to whitewash his offenses."

"Him: Hi Me: I bet you say that to all the girls"