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Joke of the Day

"What's the shittiest dog race? The poo-dle! I'll be seeing myself out :/"

"What's green, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"A person is sentenced to death by freezing It's justice."

"What do you call a broken fisherman's calculator. Something fishy that doesn't quite add up."

"When you unfollow me, I find your name on a Coke bottle, shake it up, put it back on the shelf and whisper ""suck it"" under my breath."

"How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order? I on it."

"[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there"

"A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy."

"What do Little Miss Muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."

"Don't let a Chromosome get you down One of my personal favorites."