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Joke of the Day

"I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. She dig. Now it's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep."

"Mum!! Please can you take me to the toilet? No! I'm busy. Ask your grandmother. Actually I'd rather ask Grandad. His hand shakes more."

"The thing about eating broken cookies is there's no way to know how many you had. ""You ate the whole ba-"" THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW."

"Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school."

"I don't know what's more embarrassing, accidentally sending nudes to your boss or getting a pay decrease as a result of your nudes."

"What did France say to Turkey? That's not nice."

"Extinction ""Not a chance."" Said the last female Dodo, as she walked away from the last male."

"I can always tell which waiters are just in it to make money and which are in it for the love of grossly exaggerating how hot plates are."

"What's the difference between having sex on two twin beds pushed together and Reganomics? You get fucked and fall through the cracks."

"The worst part of going to church with my family is when we get caught on the Kiss Cam."