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Joke of the Day

"Sodium said to neon, ""I gave your mother my electron last night!"" Neon didn't react."

"the last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the statue of liberty"

"Coworker: I can't believe my wife left me. I should of treated her better. Me *should have"

"I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, ""I'm going to eat that."""

"What's the difference between a raccoon and a boner? I don't have a raccoon."

"What was the jew doing in the ashtray? Family research."

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"*outside my house* - Don't let them know you have Clifford - Hey you must really like red your whole first floor is red, and barks? - Damn"

"Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite."