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Joke of the Day

"seX I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"In elementary I got all the chicks because my box of crayons had a built-in sharpener. Been on a dry spell ever since. Just me & my crayons."

"I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything."

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees (boobies)"

"My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail? Cell Phones."

"[inventing trees] Angel: what purpose do they serve? God: cats climb em Angel: can they climb back down? God [inventing the fire dept]: nope"

"What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else? In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe."

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce? A seizure salad."