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Joke of the Day

"seX I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"You people that are getting laid regularly either need to keep that stuff to yourselves or be more descriptive."

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession."

"I've done it! I've solved the question we have all asked since the dawn of time. Where do we go when we die? In the ground."

"""A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat."" I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email."

"Why was the potato chip angry? Because he was salty Edit: im so sorry."

"If I win this lottery I'd give half to charity She treated me well at the strip club"

"I'm sorry I broke your finger, but seriously, what did you expect would happen when you tried to eat the last two fries off my plate?"

"What do you call a French sexual offender? A crepeist."