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Joke of the Day

"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"

"How do you steal a coat? You jacket."

"Why did the Mexican throw his wife into the river? Tequila"

"asked the universe for literally nothing & received a commercial featuring conjoined twins riding a segway"

"Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists."

"How many men from the US swim team does it take to open a door? Just one if its lochte'd"

"even if u realy hate sombody, u shoud never insult their physical apearance!!! bc as soon as u dig deeper u will find much stronger insults"

"What do you call a short, round-bellied Salarian? Mordin Volus"

"[Job interview] ""You list communication as a strength"" Yes ""Care to elaborate?"" No"

"What's the definition of relative humidity? Sweat on your balls when you're doing your sister."