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Joke of the Day

"Why reddit is a murderer. Because it killed me battery"

Next Joke
 
"A sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender says we don't serve food here."
"Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? ""Mom, it's-"" *dad makes throat slice gesture* ""No one, Mom. No one"""
"Alcohol doesn't cause hangovers....waking up does."
"A man is shot... He recently converted to islam."
"I recently started remodeling my house and quickly got in over my head, so I decided to get some professional help. I also hired a contractor to work on my house."
"Who did Alaska vote for? Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife"
"Yo Mama So Fat Yo mama so fat that her Schwarzschild radius equals 1 cm."
"Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned? Because they all have terrible pilots."
"How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool? Flip it over"